So yesterday I went out with my former co-workers to a sports bar called Charleys that we always inhabit. This is in Glendale, California and Glendale is known for two things- Lots of Armenians and lots of Scientologists. The bar we go to is right next to a small Scientologist church. There are around 4 Scientology buildings that we know of in the area and this was the smallest one.
We got really, really drunk last night because the spanish translator at my old job finally turned 21. My friend George was there and he is kind of a crazy bastard. He does the most insane things when drunk...and he was DRUNK. We were hanging outside the bar when George noticed lots of people coming out of the Scientology church. While we were just standing around he walks over, opens the door and starts screaming "XENU! XENUUU!! XENUUU!!" into the church. We think this is hilarious and wait for someone to come out and be all WTF. No one does. After some time, George walks right into the building and disappears.
We wait a bit but its like 11 pm at night and Scientology IS kind of a weird cult. Several people come out of the church after George ran in. After about 10 minutes, i grow worried and enter the church myself. I hear loud music coming from the second floor so I follow. I run smack dab into a Scientology party. Its kind of a weird sight. Theres a band playing and ONE chick is danging all hardcore in front of them. She is obviously really into the band but theres like 20 other people in the room. The room itself looks like someones living room. Theres a dining table and bookshelves and all the seats in front of the band were just folding chairs. There are at least FIVE carved turkeys on the dining table that the people are eating. Thats ALL i see there is to eat.....turkey.
I see George standing next to a bookshelf just watching the band. I walk over to him and hit him with my hat. I am creeped out and want to leave. George just gives me a nod and resumes watching the band. I leave.
I walk out the building and tell the rest of my friends what i saw. A few minutes later, George comes tearing out of the place. He lifts something over his head. Its a spanish language translation of "Dianetics". He starts yelling "YEEEEEAH! YEEEEEAH!" and runs away. One of the Scientologists comes out and starts looking in all directions. By this time George is already across the street. He starts dancing and flashing the book at us. We're all laughing our asses off.
Then for some reason , George comes back to us. The man who came out of the church goes back in. He comes out like 1 minute later followed by a stocky woman. She marches right up to George and TEARS the book out of his hands and screams at him "That is NOT okay!!". She goes back in but the other guy stands out there. As we continue to talk outside the bar, the guy continues standing there and glaring at us. After about 15 minutes some other guy comes out and taps him on the shoulder. The first guy goes back into the church and the second guy stands outside and glares at us.
We decide to leave and go to BJ's. We tell the waitress our story and she cant stop laughing. We notice on our bill that she gave us all our drinks, salads, soups and appetizers for free.
Awesome night.
