Author Topic: I (might get) *got* divorced  (Read 14185 times)

Offline gpw11

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #40 on: Monday, May 18, 2015, 11:32:50 AM »
Quote
I've received a lot of advice over the past few days about this situation.  Almost universally, it is "ditch the bitch", but there are three dissenting opinions.  Of course they are my mother-in-law, father-in-law, and sister-in-law.  I take that as a great compliment, as if they are basically saying, "You are a fantastic guy and we know that Jennie is better off with you than anyone else and she screwed this up royally."  I don't mean to be immodest, but I agree with them.  I am a great guy.  I'm also a pretty good looking guy, but that's besides the point.  I've got my head on straight, I'm successful in my career, I'm stable, I'm reliable, I'm handy, I'm not a physical or emotional abuser, and I pride myself as a man of integrity above all else.

I like this.

Offline K-man

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #41 on: Tuesday, May 19, 2015, 09:23:34 AM »
Above all else Scott, make sure you are taking the measures to protect yourself both emotionally and financially.  Situations like these tend to bring out the absolute worst in people.

Offline scottws

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #42 on: Wednesday, May 20, 2015, 10:30:02 AM »
The lyrics to Muse's "Dead Inside" speak to me.  I mean, like exactly.  It's almost chilling.

Quote from: Muse
Dead inside!
Revere a million prayers
And draw me into your holiness
But there's nothing there
Light only shines from those who share
Unleash a million drones
Confine me then erase me babe
Do you have no soul?
It's like it died long ago

Your lips feel warm to the touch
You can bring me back to life
On the outside you're ablaze and alive
But you're dead inside!

You're free to touch the sky
Whilst I am crushed and pulverized
Because you need control
Now I'm the one who's letting go
You like to give an inch
Whilst I am giving infinity
But now I've got nothing left
You have no cares and I'm bereft

Your skin feels warm to caress
I see magic in your eyes
On the outside you're ablaze and alive
But you're dead inside!

Feel me now, hold me please
I need you to see who I am
Open up to me, stop hiding from me
It's hurting babe
Only you can stop the pain
Don't leave me out in the cold
Don't leave me out to die
I gave you everything
I can't give you anymore
Now I've become just like you

My lips feel warm to the touch
My words seem so alive
My skin is warm to caress
I'll control and hypnotise
You've taught me to lie without a trace
And to kill with no remorse
On the outside I'm the greatest guy
Now I'm dead inside!

Source: http://www.metrolyrics.com/dead-inside-lyrics-muse.html?ModPagespeed=noscript

Edit:  Actually, I shouldn't say this is how I feel, but how I felt last week.
« Last Edit: Wednesday, May 20, 2015, 01:17:07 PM by scottws »

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #43 on: Sunday, June 21, 2015, 02:42:42 PM »
Man. I guess I really missed some stuff.

Well Scott, I don't know how things are going for you at this point in time, but while I felt like initially I might have advice to offer you since I've been divorced and gone through some failed relationships (one, possibly two of which involved some cheating), I think you've already gone and learned the best of those lessons for yourself. Kudos to you for that, and for handling this as well as you have. I know from experience how intensely difficult it can be, both emotionally and logistically.

My best to you as you continue to go through the process, my friend, but I have a feeling you'll be just fine. If nothing else, a fresh start at this stage of your life can truly be invigorating. I'm really sorry you had to experience that kind of betrayal at all, as it's certainly not something I'd wish anyone, much less a decent guy like yourself, but the lessons it teaches can indeed be valuable ones, and I hope they'll be of service to you going forward.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline scottws

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #44 on: Tuesday, June 23, 2015, 04:51:45 AM »
Thanks, Que.  I appreciate it.

Everything is moving forward.  We're working on a Simplified Dissolution of Marriage, which allows us to go through the process without the burden of lawyers.  This is good for both of us.

I've moved out of my mother-in-law's house and now live one block from Ft. Lauderdale Beach and directly on the intracoastal waterway with a view of multimillion dollar houses and yachts on the other side.  The place is furnished like an old lady decorated it 50 years ago, but it's a place to stay and the location is great.  I'm there six months only, so I have to start thinking what I'm going to do next pretty soon.

I went ahead and put myself on Tinder.  Been on a few dates so far, two with one of the girls (and with a third planned).  It's an interesting experience.  I'm certainly not well practiced in the art of dating.  It can be a bit nerve-wracking but I can fake confidence pretty well.  I don't have any specific goals in mind; I am just taking things a day at a time.  That's probably not fair to the girls I'm talking to, but I try to be honest about everything if they ask so at least they can decide for themselves.

I'm also expanding my horizons.  I've realized that Jennie really didn't want to do a lot and, as a consequence, I didn't get to do a lot.  For instance, I went to the beach maybe six times in the four years of living here and most of those were when my family from Ohio visited.  Now I've been to the beach three times in the last week.  I did stand-up paddleboarding for the first time a few weeks back, have my first skydive planned, signed up for motorcycle lessons, and am doing some sort of self-awareness/self-help seminar thing that a guy at work talked me into.  I'll try anything once.  If there were some mountains around, I'd probably look into rock climbing or snowboarding.

So, what I'm trying to say is "I'll be okay".  I kind of wish it would have happened when I was a bit younger, but it is what it is and I'm making the best of it.
« Last Edit: Tuesday, June 23, 2015, 05:14:03 AM by scottws »

Offline Cobra951

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #45 on: Tuesday, June 23, 2015, 05:26:13 AM »
You're plenty young.  Stay healthy, and you have 15 years of young ahead of you, easy--maybe more.  You don't suddenly turn into a pumpkin after that either.

You still have lots of time to settle down and make a family of your own too.  You may be surprised how many younger women are going to be interested in you.

I can sort of picture that place where you're staying.  Amazing.  You're doing the right thing by moving forward, not wasting any time.  Best of luck, Scott.

Offline gpw11

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #46 on: Tuesday, June 23, 2015, 12:59:59 PM »




I went ahead and put myself on Tinder.  Been on a few dates so far, two with one of the girls (and with a third planned).  It's an interesting experience.  I'm certainly not well practiced in the art of dating.  It can be a bit nerve-wracking but I can fake confidence pretty well.  I don't have any specific goals in mind; I am just taking things a day at a time.  That's probably n

I'm super fucking jealous.  I got out of dating right before Tinder was a thing and feel like I totally missed out.

Offline scottws

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #47 on: Monday, July 06, 2015, 07:11:59 AM »
Well, it's becoming official.  We filed paperwork with the Clerk of Courts last Thursday.  Now is just the wait for the hearing.

Offline Cools!

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #48 on: Monday, July 06, 2015, 05:23:13 PM »
I'm super fucking jealous.  I got out of dating right before Tinder was a thing and feel like I totally missed out.

I don't think I went on a single Tinder date. I had more success on OKCupid but it takes a lot more effort to maintain a profile. At this point I only want to meet new people in person.

Offline scottws

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #49 on: Tuesday, July 07, 2015, 05:23:42 AM »
Yeah, it's kind of lame.  I'm just not that good at text flirting.  I'm much more charming in person.  So there are tons of Tinder matches I talk to where we don't even get to a date, but when I do go on a date it always goes really well.

Offline gpw11

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #50 on: Friday, July 10, 2015, 12:36:25 AM »
Yeah, it's kind of lame.  I'm just not that good at text flirting.  I'm much more charming in person.  So there are tons of Tinder matches I talk to where we don't even get to a date, but when I do go on a date it always goes really well.

I think girls just liked how I wasn't taking anything seriously when I was internet dating, like everything was a joke while every other guy was trying to impress them or something.  HA, LITTLE DID THEY KNOW IT WAS ALL A RUSE AND I WAS JUST TRYING TO FUCK THEM. 


AND I OFTEN DID.

On a more serious note, I find dating really fun, you go out, meet someone for some drinks, maybe they suck maybe they don't but you usually get a story out of it.  I totally miss that.

Offline scottws

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #51 on: Wednesday, July 29, 2015, 01:43:57 PM »
Well I met some girl on OK Cupid I really like.  I've been talking to her and spending time with her quite a bit.  She's super smart, funny, well-off financially, has a great rack, and is a minx in the sack.

I'm pretty sure the soon-to-be-ex-wife is seeing someone too.  I was over the house yesterday and saw Axe deodorant in the master bath and a cup with a toothbrush in it.  Jennie had been using the Sonicare.  It might even be that guy I am pretty sure she cheated on me with.  I noticed that Jennie somehow blocked me on Facebook (we're still FB friends but I see her profile as if I'm just some non-friend) but she changed her cover photo recently, which is a publicly visible change, and that guy she cheated on me with commented on it so she obviously has gotten back in touch with him.  Whatever, I guess it's her business.  That said, I do debate internally whether or not I'll beat the shit out of the guy if I ever see him or just say fuck it and move on.

Also, my final hearing date is August 11. 

Offline Cobra951

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #52 on: Wednesday, July 29, 2015, 04:10:28 PM »
I highly recommend "fuck it and move on".  Decisions made emotionally are almost always wrong.  Besides, you seem to be having some enviable times, despite the difficult path that took you there.  Don't mess those up for the sake of revenge. 

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #53 on: Wednesday, July 29, 2015, 05:45:06 PM »
Entirely agreed. None of that is worth anything, and considering the past, this guy is getting a wad of baggage while you're getting a fresh start. Leave him to his fate. It won't turn out well.

Also, having been in your position, beware of moving too fast with anything serious (not that you are, necessarily). Going through what you did may create some unforeseen complications that aren't apparent now, and you don't want to sabotage future relationships because you think you're doing fine. You went from "I love her, willing to work it out," to "fuck this shit, let's go live life" in a very short space of time. Which isn't to try to put a damper on your getting back out there and doing good; you'll figure all that out one way or another. Just a little pat on the back and friendly reminder to watch yourself.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline scottws

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Re:
« Reply #54 on: Thursday, July 30, 2015, 03:39:43 AM »
Thanks, guys. This is sound advice.

Offline Pugnate

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #55 on: Friday, July 31, 2015, 01:10:25 PM »
KICK HIS ASS <--- ignore this voice in your brain.

a) You've moved on to better things. If you do something silly you'll seriously regret it later. I am speaking from experience.

b) He was in the army. I know you ride a Harley now, but he was in the army. He was trained in combat. You, like the rest of us, were trained to kill aliens with your keyboard.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it wouldn't be a fair fight.

For him.

You have liberated Berlin, taken a flag through castle Wolfenstein, slaughtered green men, fought with drunken dwarves, wielded a light-saber, boned Princess Peach... OK I think I got really carried away.

Offline Cobra951

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #56 on: Saturday, August 01, 2015, 07:44:14 AM »
Hahaha!   ;D  You're inspired today.

Offline scottws

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #57 on: Monday, August 03, 2015, 09:12:06 AM »
KICK HIS ASS <--- ignore this voice in your brain.

a) You've moved on to better things. If you do something silly you'll seriously regret it later. I am speaking from experience.

b) He was in the army. I know you ride a Harley now, but he was in the army. He was trained in combat. You, like the rest of us, were trained to kill aliens with your keyboard.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it wouldn't be a fair fight.

For him.

You have liberated Berlin, taken a flag through castle Wolfenstein, slaughtered green men, fought with drunken dwarves, wielded a light-saber, boned Princess Peach... OK I think I got really carried away.

Haha.  On a serious note, I've considered B.  He also looks like a pretty tall and stocky dude from pictures I've seen.  Anyway, yeah time to move on and just not worry about it.

I actually spent all weekend in Key West with OK Cupid girl.  We had a great time.

Offline scottws

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #58 on: Wednesday, August 12, 2015, 10:02:02 AM »
Well, it is official. I got divorced yesterday.

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #59 on: Wednesday, August 12, 2015, 10:04:42 AM »
Congrats, man! It's not a fun thing to go through, but a huge sigh of relief when it becomes reality and you can start to really put it behind you. Or at least it was for me.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline scottws

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #60 on: Wednesday, August 12, 2015, 10:08:43 AM »
Yeah, it's good to put it behind.  There are still some open threads.  My name is still on the mortgage and deed and I'm still covering her and her son with health insurance, but I'm working on closing those loops.

Offline Cools!

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #61 on: Wednesday, August 12, 2015, 11:49:53 AM »
FREEDOM!!!!!!! Congrats!

Offline MysterD

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #62 on: Wednesday, August 12, 2015, 09:31:50 PM »
@Scott

Sorry things didn't work out w/ you and Jennie. I'm sure you loved her and all - but damn, talk about some madness of finding out about the affair and all of that. That sure sounded like Hell for you. Some things, unfortunately, don't last forever - even at some point in time, you think they will and want them to.

Time can change a lot of things.

But, on the brighter side here w/ times changing - looks like things w/ OK Cupid Girl are going well, you're moving on, and are FREE!! That sounds pretty good to me!! :)
Rock on!!

Offline Cobra951

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #63 on: Thursday, August 13, 2015, 06:50:46 AM »
Well, it is official. I got divorced yesterday.

Good to put that behind you, with no longterm shackles.  Best of luck going forward from here, Scott.

Offline Pugnate

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #64 on: Sunday, August 16, 2015, 05:23:26 AM »
The feelings are probably bittersweet at the moment, but it must feel good to close this chapter in your life.

Offline scottws

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #65 on: Monday, August 17, 2015, 05:53:14 AM »
Nah, the feelings are good.  I'm glad to put it behind me. I look at the previous eleven years as sort of a life lesson.

Offline Xessive

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Re: I might get divorced
« Reply #66 on: Monday, August 17, 2015, 06:06:52 AM »
I think it's time to "remaster" this thread and bring it up to the modern standards of our community. Let's spice it up with more exclamations, more animations, and brand-spanking new title that more accurately reflects Scott's reality: I might get got divorced.

I imagine it will help with the moving on.

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: I (might get) *got* divorced
« Reply #67 on: Monday, August 17, 2015, 08:03:53 PM »
We should have a party. Divorcees unite!


天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline scottws

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Re: I (might get) *got* divorced
« Reply #68 on: Tuesday, August 18, 2015, 06:51:11 AM »
Hahaha!