Topic: Trip to Balochistan

[Pugnate]

So I did a travel piece for the paper. I used a creative style that I am hesitant to show others, though this is how I have written my fictional stories. Just haven't shown them.

Anyway, this is the first time I wrote like this for anyone other than myself:

http://www.dawn.com/news/1169526

I would appreciate some honest feedback. Thanks.

[Cobra951]

That was a geography and modern-history lesson for me, Pug.  Nicely written too, in a casual tone, almost like a detailed letter home during a long trip.  Thanks for posting.

Grammar-Nazi corner:
"One aging gentlemen [sic] . . ."

And that's it, as far as I can tell.  Great work, man.

[Pugnate]

haha I can't believe I missed that. Thanks for the feedback. Shall have it corrected. I always make that mistake.

[PyroMenace]

Those photos were fantastic. What a beautiful place, and you mentioned that rock formation that resembled a princess is indeed natural? I keep staring at it thinking it's a worn down centuries-old statue. I almost googled Magelina Bolee at the beginning of your story then noticed your correction to the tourist bus driver

Great story, I bet it must have felt extremely cathartic after everything that's been going on.

[Pugnate]

I am so happy you liked the photos. Received compliments on them from others as well and it makes me feel well because I always was fascinated with photography.

Yes, the city is one violent place so being able to have the wife come on an assignment was great.

The driver was funny and completely unimpressed. He was talking about his village was better.

In terms of the style, this is the new way of reporting. The editor at Dawn is a really nice girl and was previously at Salon.com

All of these reports are either doing a narrative style and listicles. I personally hate listicles but if done right aren't so bad. There are some really obvious listicles and those are just sad.

To write this I looked up tips online and I tried to do this informative piece that read like a letter but was relating information to the reader. I've written some short stories that I'd like to share here some day.

[Raisa]

The style of ranting seems more relatable I reckon. It makes a person want to visit a place more.

I want to see this place but I don't know if my husband would ever take me. Indians and Pakistanis 

Some of the hills near the valley of the mandir remind me of the mountains near my backyard

[PyroMenace]

You can see that from your backyard? WOW

[Pugnate]

A funny story. So a long time ago when my wife was a kid she went on vacation to one of the most beautiful parts of Pakistan with her parents. The mountains there are gorgeous. So her family met some villagers who asked them why they came all the way from the big fascinating city to such a remote location. When my wife's mother said it was because of the mountains, one of the village women scornfully said... huh? They are just mountains. Who cares.

[Cools!]

For anyone wondering why there is an image that says "Kutegroup.com" in Pug's last post it's because the image he tried to link to is on a site that doesn't allow hotlinking. Pug would have to link to the article itself where the image is for us to find it.

[Pugnate]

Seems to be working now.

[Raisa]

Pyro, yes.

Pug--that's why we're dealing with climate change I reckon..too many people don't have appreciation.