It's 5am, I kinda drunk and I'm going to let the honesty pour out of me right now. I haven't had sex in over two years...and yes I could blame it on my not having a car, spending any extra dollar on numbing my mind on insane amounts of alcohol, not being able to sustain a plant let alone a loving relationship with a woman, extreme apathy or just being extremely picky when it comes to the opposite sex. However, I'd rather blame my friends, no, the entire male race of trying to cock block me at every chance they get.
Within the last two weeks, I've met two amazing women. One was one of my best friend's cousins who I hit it off with right from the bat and a friend of a friend who I went out to a bar with (the the same friend who has the hot cousin). Each time, I was cock blocked, one was purely intentional and the other is just...just what my friend does.
With the hot cousin, Ashley, there were all of the basic signs of attraction of flirting: joking, touching, hair swirling, laughing at bad jokes, etc. However, my friend Trey, who always tries to ruin any conversation I have with a girl stepped in, freaked her out with his weird shit and she literally ran out the door...didn't even bother putting on her shoes first. He does this to me all of the time, he ruined my relationship with a girl he was obsessed with (not dating, in love or had a chance with, just obsessed) and I didn't talk to him for about a year. He's always done this to me, so I kinda expect it from him, so at least I'm ready for battle if a hot girl is around and "douche bag" is too.
Chris is different (dude with the hot cousin), we go out to a bar, I start having fun, chat up a beautiful woman, start making out with her...and suddenly he wants to leave! He did this to me last night, I just don't get it. If I see one of my friends about to get some, I adapt, accommodate and assist, it's really not that hard.
In all modesty, I'm easily the best looking out of all of my friends. In case you need a reminder, I'm also the funniest, smartest, have the biggest wiener and the most interesting. I'm not greedy, they can have whatever is left over. Whenever they meet a girl they like, I back off, I even try to help out those pathetic bastards. Anyways, I just don't get why they want me to suffer in the stew of my own seed...I need new friends.
