Author Topic: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit  (Read 3083 times)

Offline gpw11

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Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 04:33:37 PM »
I'm sure we've all done something like this before.  Currently, however, I'm having a harder time than usual.  "How have globalization and free trade affected women in paticular?  Should this be a high political priority?  Why or why not?"

It's not a full term paper, just a short argumentative essay for an easy class, so it's only about 1500 words.  Easy enough to force yourself through, but still at the back of your mind you have to kind of wonder why it fucking matters?  You know why?  Feminist appeasement.

Offline Cobra951

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #1 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 05:13:40 PM »
Wow.  That is a bullshit title.  The approach depends on whether the consequences matter to you.  I figure that they do, and in that case, equally bullshit content is required.

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #2 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 05:32:48 PM »
Just throw in stuff like "women are awesome, even when they're being completely irrational because of hormones" and "I totally think lesbians are an asset to my community" and you'll come out with high marks.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline WindAndConfusion

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #3 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 06:05:35 PM »
Top three things people say when they hire a ghostwriter:
  • I need help with my resumé/job application.
  • My editor wanted this article to be 2500 words, but I only have 250 words worth of content.
  • My sociology professor assigned me this and now my brains have leaked out.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #4 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 06:21:46 PM »
Yeah it's pretty lame.  See, just general bullshit topics are fine, but this one is especially bad because the fact that it even exists is kind of retarded.  I mean, we're talking about roughly half of the population here...it's not a minority group or an overwhelming majority.  It just doesn't really matter or mean anything other than someone had to to something in order to get a government grant for their "Womyn's" Studies tenure so they analyzed something inconsequential.

When I was in first year I took this English course, and one of the books we were supposed to read had no punctuation in it at all.  No commas, periods, quotation marks, nothing.  It was the last book of the semester and there wasn't any assignment on it, so it seemed pretty obvious that the exam was going to focus pretty heavily on it.  I tried reading for like 10 min. while waiting for something and decided it was too stupid of an idea to promote by having anything to do with it.  It was also retarded hard to read....because we use punctuation for a reason.  So, the exam rolls around and consists of basically one essay question on this book.  I'm pretty fucked because I have no idea what the thing is even really about and didn't go to most of the classes where they talked about it.  I basically gave up, wrote about 1500 words on how the author didn't have anything meaningful to say or an imagination vivid enough to come up with a story that's purely entertaining enough to make readers look past the fact that he didn't have anything to say.  In an act of desperation he resorted to a gimmick.  I don't know what I got for that, but whatever it was it didn't drop me below a B.  Really, that's what I should be doing here.

As for the ghostwriting, I find myself interested in your line of work and the mechanics of it.  Do you do mostly 'open' ghostwriting, or do you have to sign some kind of disclaimer saying you have to keep your clients identities a secret?

Offline WindAndConfusion

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #5 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 06:38:11 PM »
Here are the first two lines of the contract I sign with most clients:

"I, <my name>, do hereby grant all rights of authorship relating to <assignment>, including rights of copyright and publicity, to <client>. This agreement is exclusive, perpetual, and irrevocable."

"Rights of publicity" include the right to pretend to be the original author.

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #6 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 06:56:32 PM »
Nothing like giving undeserving dipshits a shot at success.  Thanks for that.  I'm sure it's made all our lives a little happier.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline WindAndConfusion

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #7 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 07:18:19 PM »
To be fair, I do very few school assignments, and the ones I choose to do are the mind-fuckingly stupid ones that no intelligent person should have to suffer through without getting paid.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #8 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 07:30:58 PM »
Nothing like giving undeserving dipshits a shot at success.  Thanks for that.  I'm sure it's made all our lives a little happier.

I don't really see it as a problem.  No, it's not really fair, but nothing is.  If you get a job for hard work, I don't really know if it's anymore admirable over getting a job because of intelligence and resourcefulness.

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #9 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 07:42:23 PM »
Sorry, I just have absolutely zero respect for the profession of ghostwriting, or pretty much anything else where cash is exchanged for a misrepresentation of skill.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline WindAndConfusion

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #10 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 07:53:48 PM »
Writing product manuals is a misrepresentation of skill?

Offline gpw11

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #11 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 08:05:03 PM »
Sorry, I just have absolutely zero respect for the profession of ghostwriting, or pretty much anything else where cash is exchanged for a misrepresentation of skill.

Fair enough, but generally I view most contracts as an exchange of payment for a service.  I see no problem with it then. Get hired to write an article on giraffes and don't have enough time?  Subbing it out might be the most reasonable option. Your client is paying you for a function, and you serve it whether you do it or not.  But yes, you're probably right depending on the circumstance.

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #12 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 08:12:29 PM »
It certainly depends on the circumstance, as was already illustrated, but in general I just don't have any respect for someone who takes something they had nothing to do with and claims it as their own, even if it's seemingly of no consequence.  Speech writers piss me the fuck off, for instance.

EDIT - Er, speech writers piss me off because they provide the service, that is.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline gpw11

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #13 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 08:50:12 PM »
Yeah, fair enough.  It's a legitimate opinion.  For some reason it just reminded me of that standup act where he's like "Look lady, just because I'm DRESSED like a cop doesn't mean I AM a cop." 

Yeah, I know they have nothing to do with each other, but I kind of laughed and I'm in public and people are looking at me like a retard writing a blog.  This is why you leave your textbooks on your table when you're forced to work outside of your house and the library is closed.

Offline Ghandi

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #14 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 09:33:24 PM »
"How have globalization and free trade affected women in paticular?  Should this be a high political priority?  Why or why not?"

Focus on price fluctuations in markets dealing with consumables and kitchen equipment. Be sure to point out how everything else is irrelevant to women.

Offline ren

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #15 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 10:14:49 PM »
I don't see how you could write this paper seriously. Maybe something like multinationals changing traditional standards for women when they set up shop in developing countries but I imagine having to have it cited throws that kind of BS out the window.

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #16 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 10:34:09 PM »
Or you could just call it the bullshit that it is and walk out.  I dropped an English class due to similar stuff once.  Of course, trying to fight the current state of Academia is a pointless affair, but I can't help but hold out hope that eventually these people will get thrown out on their collective ear somehow.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline Ghandi

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #17 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 10:43:40 PM »
Or you could outsource your paper to a woman in India. That would be ironic.

Offline Antares

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #18 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 10:48:06 PM »
Heh, speaking of outsourcing, there was actually a few pages in The world is flat about how globalization has offered women in muslim countries to enjoy perks of western culture like Curves Gyms.


Offline gpw11

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #19 on: Sunday, May 11, 2008, 10:51:24 PM »
Oh, the funniest part is the research involved.  For instance, in North America (I assume) in 1970 one could support a family of two adults and two children on an average of 45 paid hours a week.  That number is 'now' (circa 1999) 65-80 hours a week.  Ignoring the somewhat retard nature of this statistic, the point the chick who wrote this journal article is trying to make is that women now have to work.  The way she presents it doesn't support her argument all that well, but besides that the overall conclusion she is trying to make is that women now have two jobs; going to work and doing all the shit that men are too stupid and lazy to do.  No, of course she doesn't back this up with empirical evidence or "data".

All of these feminist articles and reports are pretty much like this.  And lets not kid ourselves, no one else is putting any effort into studying this 'trend'.

Offline Cobra951

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #20 on: Monday, May 12, 2008, 01:32:35 PM »
And of course, if you point out that the value of a work hour dropped dramatically as a result of women going out and doubling the labor pool, you'll get a failing grade.

Offline Ghandi

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #21 on: Monday, May 12, 2008, 09:46:23 PM »
Well, I can't say that I feel sorry for you. Writing pointless papers is part of the college experience. But I have to say, my favorite part of writing papers is injecting ridiculous nonsense based upon the professors taste. It's amazing what one teacher will give you an A for and another one will give you an F for.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #22 on: Thursday, May 15, 2008, 08:44:12 PM »
 I don't think you understand.  I've written a shitload of papers and this is by far the worst topic.  You should see the arguments I have to read.

Offline Ghandi

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Re: Writing papers when the topics are bullshit
« Reply #23 on: Friday, May 16, 2008, 08:34:21 AM »
* Ghandi pats gpw on the head