Methylenedioxyamphetamine. Never heard of it until I looked it up. I wonder if you OD'd, because the effects I read about are not nearly as severe as what you described. Then again, you were mixing it with booze, so who knows about the interactions. You couldn't have OD'd too much, because then I think you'd be really fucked up, physically, maybe even dead. Damn, man. Aren't you getting a bit old for this shit? I was never into that scene, so I wouldn't understand the expectations or temptations. Just saying. Don't die before me!
Waaaay too old for it. But the expectations/temptations aren't really there. I'm a big drinker but not really into the drug scene at all. I've definitely dabbled in the past, but in the end the downsides of pretty much everything (feeling horrible the next day, less control) outweigh the up sides (for me, usually cutting the drunk a bit and giving you some more energy). This was a really rare thing.
From the wikipedia: " It is mainly used as a recreational drug, an entheogen, and a tool in use to supplement various types of practices for transcendence, including in meditation, psychonautics, and as an agent in psychedelic psychotherapy"
Whatever the hell psychonautics is is probably the key here. It also mentions the hallucinogenic properties later in the article, which I had no idea about.
I don't think it was an overdose at all, as I really didn't do enough to bring that about, but more of a mind fuck because I didn't really know what was going on and was experiencing effects I didn't expect. The breakdown of what actually happened, near as I can tell:
-Got on train, tripping balls. "Ride it out"
-We overshot our stop and had to hop on another train. I was apparently pretty confused by this and I imagine it acted as a bit of a stress trigger.
-On second train, tripping balls but apparently totally fine.
-Exit the second train at our stop. There are people all over the place, running around, wasted, yelling. Ton of commotion. I asked "If something bad happened back there".
-Got outside and there was just a fight so there are a couple cop cars, still people running about and yelling. Lights and sirens. This was probably where I was 100% convinced that something bad happened and the switch was flipped in my head: I instantly imagine the worst case scenario (obviously some sort of train derailment/bomb), everyone is rushing around in confusion and while my girlfriend is telling me nothing bad went down and I'm fine, the only explanation that makes sense is things went horribly wrong and I'm dying.
-Girlfriend said I was completely fine, not in a bad place, visibly having a bad time, or freaking out, but was walking with her, kept looking back and down at my legs asking if something had happened.
-In the elevator, still just can't make sense of it at all. Otherwise, feel great, although really high. checking my legs again. I can still vividly see the "vision" or whatever and it's obviously heavily inspired from a movie or game or something. It's literally me in a pile of rubble, people running around and yelling, girlfriend with me. I'm asking what happened, she's telling me nothing, we're almost home, nothing happened and I'm fine. As per usual, I'm suspicious as hell when people are really trying to convince me everything is fine (ESPECIALLY WOMEN), look down and yeah...legs blown off to waist, bleeding out. View switches to third person, pulls out and the whole station is just fucked. THE END.
-Just as the elevator is ending, I'm getting inside I cut the confusion a bit by realizing third person views aren't really something that happens and my brain is just fucked. "Time to teach you, brain". Shotgun beers, drink ciders, end the night on a somewhat high note.
Girlfriend is amazed the next day that this was going on, as I was purely in my own world and she said apart from the whacked ass questions and a slight sign that I was worried about something she had no idea I was pretty much "freaking out".
I've heard stories (I'm sure we all have) about people freaking out on drugs and I can say that I totally understand it 100% now. If she wasn't with me or I was just a bit further gone, to the point where I wasn't confused but actually convinced that this shit just happened, things could have gone very differently.
The golden rule with casually dabbiling in drugs is to be extremely careful with anything taken orally, because the delay between ingestion and effect can be all over the place and it can be hard to dose. Also to be really careful when dealing with shit and you're not sure what it is. I thought MDA was basically MDMA, which to me means, take a tiny bit while drinking and you gain some clarity, energy, feel good, and probably say stupid shit to people you like. I didn't think this would be any different. WAY DIFFERENT, for at least the commute.
LESSON LEARNED.
