Overwritten.net
Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: Raisa on Sunday, July 15, 2007, 06:13:53 PM
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I've always found it a little silly how people say "oh she's gone" and then talk to the dead person in the coffin like she's there and it's her - cold and hard.
I don't get the contradiction.
a great-aunt died. I never knew her as a person though. I went to her wake recently.
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People have trouble accepting death. It seems like they refer to a person as if they were still alive for a while before truly accepting that they're gone. I've been lucky in my life. I've only had to attend 2 funerals for people I cared about. My Great Grandmother, and my Great Aunt Lois, who I was actually quite close with.
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I've had plenty of experience. I've spoken at the funerals for my grandfather and my father (and I was the one giving my father CPR when he had his heart attack, an experience I'll never forget no matter how much I'd like to), I *think* I spoke at my other grandfather's funeral (though I honestly don't remember... it was too close to my dad's and I don't remember the period well), I've been to several wakes and memorials for family friends, I went to my cousin's funeral after he committed suicide (he was a rocker, they played some of his music... it was a really difficult thing, emotionally, though I didn't know him as well as I should have), and I've attended funerals for several friends from my old church who passed away. I think I spoke at at least 2 of those as well (though not formally, just shared stories).
In my experience, people will always talk to the dead as though they're there. I speak with Dad regularly. Do I know he's dead? Of course I do. His physical body has ceased to exist. I'd certainly say that he's "gone" if someone asked me. But does that mean I don't feel that his spirit lives on? That the memories I hold of him don't make him real in my heart with every day that passes? I don't think it's any more a contradiction than the human existence is itself.
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I've had to deal with quite a few deaths of people I was close to. I'd always look at the body and go "but that's not the person I knew.. it's just empty.. the person isn't there." I always found it comforting actually, because then I know it's not them in that empty shell being buried.
I figure they're really someplace else and hope they are safe.