Overwritten.net

Community => Entertainment => Topic started by: Pugnate on Tuesday, June 12, 2012, 09:34:31 AM

Title: Snowwhite and the Huntsman
Post by: Pugnate on Tuesday, June 12, 2012, 09:34:31 AM

Here is my review:

http://tribune.com.pk/story/389675/through-a-mirror-darkly-10-06-2012/

Just wondering if I could get some feedback on my writing. I feel it can be a bit mechanical with me having to touch upon stuff like acting, characterization etc.

The issue is that having a set word count to work in can be bloody hard. :P

Title: Re: Snowwhite and the Huntsman
Post by: beo on Tuesday, June 12, 2012, 09:48:39 AM

when you're talking about the actors, you say they're good in their roles, but why are they good - what makes them good. on the whole, well written, but i can't help feel that maybe you're revealing just a bit too much of the story.

Title: Re: Snowwhite and the Huntsman
Post by: scottws on Tuesday, June 12, 2012, 02:34:50 PM

I agree with beo.  For a bit I thought I was reading a plot summary.

I don't really have any qualms with it other than the two things beo mentioned and other than those I think it is a good piece.

Title: Re: Snowwhite and the Huntsman
Post by: Pugnate on Tuesday, June 12, 2012, 05:03:50 PM

Thanks!

Yeah I have to make the plot thing a bit more organic in terms of flow and definitely cut it down.

Beo, yeah I was wondering about that. I could try to say what made the performances good rather than just state facts.

Thanks guys. The editorial staff don't give me any feedback other than a word count.