Topic: Oh Jesus Christ

[PyroMenace]

Literary

Brace yourself. James Cameron, the man who brought you 'The Titanic' is back with another blockbuster. This time, the ship he's sinking is Christianity.

In a new documentary, Producer Cameron and his director, Simcha Jacobovici, make the starting claim that Jesus wasn't resurrected --the cornerstone of Christian faith-- and that his burial cave was discovered near Jerusalem. And, get this, Jesus sired a son with Mary Magdelene.

No, it's not a re-make of "The Da Vinci Codes'. It's supposed to be true.

Let's go back 27 years, when Israeli construction workers were gouging out the foundations for a new building in the industrial park in the Talpiyot, a Jerusalem suburb. of Jerusalem. The earth gave way, revealing a 2,000 year old cave with 10 stone caskets. Archologists were summoned, and the stone caskets carted away for examination. It took 20 years for experts to decipher the names on the ten tombs. They were: Jesua, son of Joseph, Mary, Mary, Mathew, Jofa and Judah, son of Jesua.
Israel's prominent archeologist Professor Amos Kloner didn't associate the crypt with the New Testament Jesus. His father, after all, was a humble carpenter who couldn't afford a luxury crypt for his family. And all were common Jewish names.

There was also this little inconvenience that a few miles away, in the old city of Jerusalem, Christians for centuries had been worshipping the empty tomb of Christ at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Christ's resurrection, after all, is the main foundation of the faith, proof that a boy born to a carpenter's wife in a manger is the Son of God.

But film-makers Cameron and Jacobovici claim to have amassed evidence through DNA tests, archeological evidence and Biblical studies, that the 10 coffins belong to Jesus and his family.

Ever the showman, (Why does this remind me of the impresario in another movie,"King Kong", whose hubris blinds him to the dangers of an angry and very large ape?) Cameron is holding a New York press conference on Monday at which he will reveal three coffins, supposedly those of Jesus of Nazareth, his mother Mary and Mary Magdalene. News about the film, which will be shown soon on Discovery Channel, Britain's Channel 4, Canada's Vision, and Israel's Channel 8, has been a hot blog topic in the Middle East (check out a personal favorite: Israelity Bites) Here in the Holy Land, Biblical Archeology is a dangerous profession. This 90-minute documentary is bound to outrage Christians and stir up a titanic debate between believers and skeptics. Stay tuned.
--Tim McGirk/Jerusalem

James Cameron? Come on, who is going to buy this? Because people are stupid this is going to turn into circus. I mean sure if its true it would be historically impactful stuff, but its just that its James Cameron. All I think about now is that MadTV skit of Terminator 3: The Greatest Action story ever told.

[Pugnate]

All religious beliefs aside that's pretty interesting. I don't know how this would fit in with the Muslim faith. Muslims believe that Jesus was a prophet and a mere mortal. They believe he died a natural death. The main difference between Islam and Christianity is that Muslims don't believe Jesus was the son of god, or god would even have children.

[Ghandi]

All the radical right-wingers are gonna go nuts over this.

I doubt that I will see this. I didn't see Mel Gibson's movie either. It seemed too cheap and gimmicky to me.

[Quemaqua]

Just what I fucking need.  And here I was starting to feel slightly better about the world.  So much for that.

[MysterD]

And here I was starting to feel slightly better about the world.  So much for that.

ROFL!

[gpw11]

DNA tests? I didn't know they had Jesus DNA on file.

[Quemaqua]

Besides, we have definitive proof that Jesus lives: He's currently on Sy's Wii.

[sirean_syan]

And I assume a thousand others.

[Jedi]

DNA tests? I didn't know they had Jesus DNA on file.

haha yeah maybe they picked him up on charges and have his DNA and fingerprints on file along with a black and white photo

[Pugnate]

DNA tests? I didn't know they had Jesus DNA on file.

CSI: Jerusalem! YEA! hahaha

[WindAndConfusion]

Just what I fucking need.  And here I was starting to feel slightly better about the world.  So much for that.

It's worse for me. Whether or not this movie even mentions atheism, it's gonna stir up a very predictable shitstorm against all us "secularists."

[Quemaqua]

Maybe if idiots like this didn't insist on spending all their free time trying to squash a belief system we wouldn't have to worry about it.  How fucking insecure must one be to make this kind of thing their personal vendetta?  Sometimes I almost can't wait for the global warming / nuclear winter / horrible plague of disease / alien anal rape Armageddon / killer mutant potato crisis to just come around and let humanity have it in the face.

[Ghandi]

Yeah but that means I get it in the face. I would realllly like to avoid that.

[Quemaqua]

Well, I'd get it too, and I don't feel like that all the time.  Just when this kind of exasperating garbage is heavily on my mind.

[WindAndConfusion]

Huh. Looks like the "historian" (read: uneducated film producer) responsible for Cameron's idea is Jewish. I wonder if the movie will get blamed on the Jews or all us "athiests"? (I know it's mean, but so long as someone has to get fucked over by this, I'd rather it's not me.)

Also, I'm not really up on my gospel, but according to John 20 Jesus was buried in linens, not a coffin.

[Pugnate]

I want to know what DNA they will be comparing this to.

[WindAndConfusion]

The Last Scion's, of course. Whom they have apparently also found.