As someone who's pretty much gone through the same thing Cools is describing, I can say a little about what I went through while I, as Nick put so bluntly, fell off the fucking honor roll to maybe make things a little more understandable... at least from my perspective. I have a feeling I'm not the only one here either.
During the time I wasn't doing well in school this place felt like it was actually somehow keeping my act together. That's not to say it was an escape. Rather, being around several people in similar situations distorted the reality of my own situation so that I didn't entirely realize how poorly I was doing. Eventually I got the educational boot and dealt with it. Again, being with people in the same boat distorting the reality, just a little. Once I got moving again it's easy to look back at the place and maybe be a little bitter. That's not to say it's any fault of the forum members, or even the forum itself, but it is something of a symbol of my own ignorance of that time. That's also not to say that the forum is the only reason for the ignorance, or even a big reason, but it remains, as Cools said, a reminder of that time.
Yeah, the obvious answer is to get our priorities straight. That's probably what Cools is actually doing with his life right now. He just doesn't want to see what screwed them over in the past every time he comes over here to say hi. It was probably worse for him because he was helping put the place together. It was like he was still building something that stands for past failings. I can sympathize. You've probably noticed how much less I post these days. Part of it is being out of the loop, but part of it is just being more involved in my schooling again. I've cut the fuck back, but it doesn't changed that I didn't cut back on the other stuff when it mattered more. Sometimes when I check in on the place I feel guilty because it reminds me of the stupid things I threw away and how I have to struggle to get them back now. I just push down the guilt because the forum means something different for me now with friends who have been there after I started to get my stuff together.
