Author Topic: Online Dating  (Read 25154 times)

Offline Raisa

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #160 on: Friday, February 08, 2008, 06:39:37 PM »
hahahhaha.. this should prove interesting.
Taken.

Offline Ghandi

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Offline Quemaqua

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #162 on: Friday, February 08, 2008, 08:46:49 PM »
Hahaha, that's pure fucking gold, man.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline Cobra951

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #163 on: Saturday, February 09, 2008, 08:46:21 AM »
OMG, I'm crying. 

It would surprise me if you did not get some interest.  I have every confidence in the worst traits of human nature.

Offline Pugnate

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #164 on: Saturday, February 09, 2008, 09:05:08 AM »
The second pic is hilarious. You have this to an art form. I just hope nothing bad comes out of this.

Offline PyroMenace

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #165 on: Saturday, February 09, 2008, 02:07:07 PM »
You know I was halfway inclined to make a female persona profile on there and start fucking with you, but I thought the better of myself because i might have been wooed by your irresistible charm.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #166 on: Saturday, February 09, 2008, 05:26:29 PM »
I figured there was a high chance that someone would try to do that.

Anyways, we have a bite.  I'll see what I can do with it.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #167 on: Sunday, February 10, 2008, 03:37:33 AM »
Quote
You're Hilarious...

Reply:

Thanks, I appreciate that. I'd love to say it was natural but in reality my humor is strictly the product of lessons taught to me by my first cell-mate. Chuckles was hilarious, and actually a pretty good guy - I just can't believe he did those horrible things to all those people.

So, how are you and your valuable possessions doing?

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #168 on: Wednesday, February 20, 2008, 12:13:22 AM »
Quote
Why in the world would you have your mug shot on your profile?

-Just curious

Reply:

"Well, first of all I'm not very photogenic so I have to take any good picture I can get. Secondly, I decided that I was going to post three pictures in order to present an accurate representation of myself. I was set on this as I couldn't think of anything worse than misleading someone (unless I would profit financially from doing so). The trouble is that out of all the pictures I have of myself only two aren't mugshots.

Dangerous....or enticing?
"

Offline idolminds

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #169 on: Wednesday, February 20, 2008, 12:24:44 AM »
The fact that she cant tell its a photoshop says everything....

Though it totally looks like the weird "3D photo" thing they do on Americas Most Wanted.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #170 on: Saturday, April 05, 2008, 06:30:37 PM »
So, there was some funny moments with the criminal profile, but I was a bit too busy to dedicate the time neccesary to actually fuck with people.  And then I found it; the dating site's forum.  Insecurity?  Check. Guys pretending to be sensitive to women's  needs in hopes of getting e-pussy? Check.  New targets?  Check. I'm moving in and just posted this:  http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts9683176.aspx

I really hope it gives me something to work with.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #171 on: Saturday, April 05, 2008, 06:51:56 PM »
Fuck, this isn't going to be funny at all....unless I spend some time convincing them I'm serious.  Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Offline Ghandi

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #172 on: Saturday, April 05, 2008, 10:49:20 PM »
I really wish that I had an account so that I could help you out. But I don't, and I'm not about to create one because I'm lazy.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #173 on: Friday, January 09, 2009, 11:09:21 PM »
Well, being as I'm back in school I thought I'd bring this back.  Name has been changed.


Quote
G says:
Oh.  So, I'm not going to lie here...this is kind of a  letdown.  I was expecting some reggae wisdom

ScaryBitch says:
where are you from

ScaryBitch says:
reggae wisdom is not the only wisdom

G says:
Toronto

G says:
Ontario

ScaryBitch says:
and now you live??????

G says:
West Vancouver

ScaryBitch says:
see...now I'm gettin' info

ScaryBitch says:
and you do??????

ScaryBitch says:
it takes you a long time to type

G says:
I"m a venture capitalist specializing in biotech.  Specifically nanotechnology for medical applications

ScaryBitch says:
???

ScaryBitch says:
nanotechnology is not a real word

G says:
Yeah, sorry.  I was doing a bank transfer.  There were a lot of zeros to type out

ScaryBitch says:
haha got you...how many 0's

ScaryBitch says:
where are you tonight...and how do I get there?

G says:
Like 7.  I just decided to donate some money to some flood refugees in Africa

ScaryBitch says:
ohhhhhhhh, how swet

ScaryBitch says:
sweet

G says:
Yeah, they looked pretty sad so I figured I'd just save a little this month and help them out

ScaryBitch says:
hook, line and sinker

G says:
I first fell in love with africa as a young graduate from medical school working for Doctor's Without Borders.

ScaryBitch says:
when did Africa flood again?

ScaryBitch says:
...

G says:
Interesting misconception.  Outside of the Serengeti, africa isn't quite as deviod of water as you'd think.

ScaryBitch says:
so, when did it last flood

G says:
Desertification is spreading, but most costal areas are still prone to seasonal flooding

G says:
Well, this is concerning the Ivory Coast, and it's currently flooded in areas off the Ganstina River

ScaryBitch says:
what the fuck r u talking about its January ba \by

G says:
Different hemisphere

ScaryBitch says:
Le Cote d'Ivoire

G says:
look, which of us went to med school and then went on to be a venture capitalist? 

ScaryBitch says:
whens the last time you were there?

ScaryBitch says:
i would love to go

G says:
2003

ScaryBitch says:
...but Canada keeps saying, "don't leave the country"\

G says:
And why does Canada keep saying that?

ScaryBitch says:
murder charges...

ScaryBitch says:
not against me

ScaryBitch says:
against the ex

ScaryBitch says:
they want me as a witness

G says:
Well, that's no good

ScaryBitch says:
...it was my son

ScaryBitch says:
...that was killed

G says:
um, this got awkward

ScaryBitch says:
wait...lets go back fifteen mintues

ScaryBitch says:
whats your plans for tonight

G says:
Locking my door?

Offline idolminds

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #174 on: Friday, January 09, 2009, 11:46:16 PM »
Sounds like you'll make a lovely couple.



Until the murderous ex boyfriend escapes from prison and kills you both.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #175 on: Friday, January 09, 2009, 11:53:51 PM »
My favorite part is when she thinks she busts me for lying because nanotechnology isn't a real word.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #176 on: Friday, January 09, 2009, 11:54:04 PM »
Oh, and the murder part.

Offline idolminds

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #177 on: Saturday, January 10, 2009, 12:11:27 AM »
Yeah, I actually laughed at the nanotechnology line.

Offline beo

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #178 on: Saturday, January 10, 2009, 01:47:14 AM »
i think she's fucking with you as much as you're fucking with her there...

Offline PyroMenace

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #179 on: Saturday, January 10, 2009, 01:54:08 AM »
i think she's fucking with you as much as you're fucking with her there...

Haha yea thats what I was thinking, I wasnt sure who was punking who.

Offline Pugnate

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #180 on: Saturday, January 10, 2009, 05:56:07 AM »
i think she's fucking with you as much as you're fucking with her there...

Offline scottws

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #181 on: Saturday, January 10, 2009, 08:07:35 AM »
Pretty good stuff.  Yeah obviously she's messing with you at the end there but the nanotechnology bit was great.  You mention that you're doing a bank transfer and she thinks she busts you about working in nanotechnology.  I didn't follow her line of thinking there.  Maybe she thought you were a banker or something?  I don't know but it was hilarious.

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #182 on: Saturday, January 10, 2009, 09:18:55 AM »
Classic stuff.  You really need to put these in a book.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #183 on: Saturday, January 10, 2009, 03:40:35 PM »
i think she's fucking with you as much as you're fucking with her there...

That's the main reason I found it so funny.  It's like there's someone out there doing the exact same thing.  I think we should get married.  Unless she's serious.

Offline MysterD

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #184 on: Saturday, January 10, 2009, 05:45:42 PM »
Classic stuff.  You really need to put these in a book.

And autograph the book for Que!

Offline Ghandi

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #185 on: Saturday, January 10, 2009, 06:04:31 PM »
/slaps D

Good stuff, as always. She kind of played you there at the end, though.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #186 on: Saturday, January 10, 2009, 07:31:08 PM »
I really really hope so.

Offline Ghandi

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #187 on: Saturday, January 10, 2009, 08:11:20 PM »
Considering how much bullshit you pull, you are surprisingly gullible. Being attacked by that flock of wild geese at a young age really damaged your psyche, it seems.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #188 on: Sunday, January 11, 2009, 03:10:45 AM »
Wait...I don't remember that.  Well, if you say so I must have mentioned it drunk or something and repressed the memory after.

Offline ren

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #189 on: Sunday, January 11, 2009, 09:24:43 AM »
Considering how much bullshit you pull, you are surprisingly gullible. Being attacked by that flock of wild geese at a young age really damaged your psyche, it seems.

It is because he has a heart of gold.

Offline MysterD

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #190 on: Sunday, January 11, 2009, 12:15:36 PM »

Offline Ghandi

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #191 on: Sunday, January 11, 2009, 02:58:32 PM »
Wait...I don't remember that.  Well, if you say so I must have mentioned it drunk or something and repressed the memory after.

It's the reason that you break down crying whenever you see poultry.

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #192 on: Sunday, January 11, 2009, 03:07:22 PM »
It all makes sense now!

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #193 on: Wednesday, April 07, 2010, 07:44:51 PM »
Soooo, you know what I haven't done in a while?

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #194 on: Wednesday, April 07, 2010, 07:52:49 PM »
I need a good headline.  This is way harder the third time.

Quote
Income is the single biggest predictor of relationship failure and of relationships starting. Please select your income range.

That's kinda depressing....FOR BROKE ASSES.

Offline idolminds

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #195 on: Wednesday, April 07, 2010, 08:25:53 PM »
Headline: "The tests came back inconclusive!"

Offline gpw11

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Re: Online Dating
« Reply #196 on: Wednesday, April 07, 2010, 08:48:38 PM »
HAHAHHA.  SOLD!  Although I was already bored so I stopped.  We'll see if I get back to it in the next few days.